


Say You'll Haunt Me

by CirillaShepard



Series: Solipsism [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CirillaShepard/pseuds/CirillaShepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a memory feels as real as life, it's as valid as life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say You'll Haunt Me

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER**  
> I do not own anything from the Mass Effect game series (unfortunately) but BioWare does.  
> Damn them.  
> I’m just borrowing their characters for fun when my muse grabs me.  
> ____________  
> Come and say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://memoryandthought.tumblr.com)!

_“…I want to know I belong to you…say you’ll haunt me…”_  
  
“Staring at the stars again, Siha?”  
  
She turns her head slightly at the sound of my voice and I notice her cheekbones lift in a smile.  
I move behind her, my arms slipping around her waist and she rests her head against my shoulder.  
The scent of her catches me as it always does and I close my eyes to take it in – another item to add to the memories of her tucked away in my mind.  
  
She turns in my arms to smile at me and as always it amazes me how that simple action is enough to make her eyes light up from a deep mossy green to a bright emerald; the color of spring grasses that draw me into their sparkling depths.  
  
I could spend an age just looking into her eyes; the color seems to shift and swirl like galaxies and in their inscrutable depths I see all the things words are unable to ever express.  
  
Her eyebrow quirks and I realize I’ve stared too long again, as I always do.  
I rest my forehead against hers, my nose brushes hers and she chuckles; a soft puff of air that makes me smile.  
I brush a strand of hair away from her face, tucking it gently behind one ear and let my lips touch hers; a soft, chaste kiss that makes her sigh quietly.  
For a moment she looks sad, her eyes darkening and her brow furrowing slightly and I tilt my head to one side in consternation.  
  
“Something troubles you, Siha?”  
“I..” she falters, her eyes casting about the room, “I keep thinking about you…about us.”  
  
I move back a little bit, my mind instantly telling me that this is it; this is the speech, the one where she tells me that she loves me but cannot stay with me.  
I am mentally cursing my body for succumbing to this damned illness when her eyes lock with mine and she steps forward to cup my face in her hands.  
  
“We’ve fought battles that most people couldn’t dream of; we’ve won them. We’ve lost people but we’ve saved people too and as much as I’m proud of what we’ve achieved there’s one person I will never be able to save. And that kills me, Thane. I don’t want to lose you, not now, not after all we’ve been through.”  
  
My chest constricts painfully at the way her voice catches when she says my name and my heart starts a staccato rhythm, beating like a war drum.  
  
I sit slowly on the sofa that curves around one corner of her quarters and tug her down to sit with me. When she is sitting, her back against my chest and my arms around her I can breathe again.  
  
“I spent so long just waiting for death to take me, Siha. I welcomed it, I wanted it and I grew frustrated and restless when it did not come.  
When we met, I joined you in the hopes that I would meet my end among the stars on our mission; but something kept me alive then as it does now.  
I had always known death was the only certainty in my life. I was not prepared for anything else, for anyone else to show me that there is more than that.”  
  
She shifts, tilting her head to look up at me and grazes her lips along my jaw line; bringing a sudden memory in flashes…  
  
_Running and shooting, targets hit and dropping like stones to the bottom of the sea._  
_Guns flaring and shattering the silence._  
_The ground trembles under foot, then everything tilts on its axis._  
_Feet slide out from under me and I’m free falling among explosions and gunfire._  
_I spiral, flailing and grasping for anything to stop the fall; death is rushing to greet me in its fiery jaws._  
_A hand, warm and familiar grips my wrist; pulling me from midair back to solid ground._  
_A touch to my face, silence surrounding us and warm pressure on my lips._  
_A smile, something whispered and secret and it begins again – guns flaring and shattering the silence._  
  
“Thane…” she breathes my name like a prayer and my heart pounds as my lips claim hers in a searing kiss.  
  
Our talk momentarily forgotten, I lay back and pull her onto me; my hands sliding under her shirt and relishing in the feel of her warm, soft skin.  
We had long stopped worrying about the effects of my skin on her and this shows in the tiny fevered kisses she is pressing along my neck and chest.  
  
Yet this is not enough, I need _more_ , want _more_.  
Time is too short and I have to feel her skin against mine.  
As if she knows, she pulls her shirt off in one fluid movement; her nimble fingers divesting me of mine before I know it has even happened.  
A groan rumbles through my chest as her body stretches out over mine and the feeling is something indescribable.  
  
Hands move over skin, eliciting soft sighs and whimpers.  
Lips touch and ignite fires that burn deep within.  
Fingers trace over my chest and it is like electricity coursing through my veins.  
  
Yet this is not enough. I still need _more_.  
  
In a swift movement I stand and take her with me, legs wrapped tight around my waist and lips pressing heated kisses over my neck and catching the corner of my mouth; hands clutching my shoulders.  
  
Clothes are left behind and her body trembles at my touch.  
She is molten heat, desire and pure want; a drug that I need more than air.  
Simply touching her does nothing to quench the fire now blazing within me.  
  
My mind is lost, reeling and spinning out of control as her fingers blaze a path over my back; taking a slow course over my hips and I bite out an oath as she starts a slow torment of my body.  
  
And still this is not enough.  
  
Her breathing is short, erratic and peppered with tiny whimpers that have me weak with longing.  
My own breath comes out in scratchy bursts and I ache with wanting to join with her in the most primal, intimate way.  
  
We are suspended in time as we join together, her arms and legs wrapped tight around me; her face buried in my shoulder, teeth nipping at my skin.  
  
Our movements are tortuously slow, yet I know this will not last.  
  
We are steel and silk and we move together in a perfect synchronicity that makes me come apart.  
  
I can feel her all around me, just as I feel her within me; her soul and mine forever intertwined as our bodies move in this ancient dance.  
  
Her head lifts and her lips find mine in a kiss that leaves me breathless and scorches my heart.  
  
As we reach our inevitable end, we surge forward; frenzied and passionate, she whispers my name in a heated breath and this is my undoing.  
  
We unfold together and it hits us like thunder; an explosion of stars behind my eyes, supernovas imploding and blooming in my head and as we ride out the storm that is raging inside us both the world blurs and tilts into gray-scale.  
  
I smudge a kiss over her forehead and lazily reach up to pull the covers off of the bed to wrap around us as our bodies cool.  
  
The color seeps slowly back into my vision and I open my eyes to find her watching me.  
Her hand strokes my face gently and the tenderness in her eyes breaks my heart.  
  
I cannot find the words to tell her how scared I am of the death that awaits me, I cannot express how angry I am at a world that allows me to find someone like her but that will rip us apart in the most cruel way.  
I cannot even find the words to tell her that I love her, because it is more than that; more than simple words. What I feel transcends that and she deserves to know that I hold her as a goddess in my mind.  
  
She leans down and kisses me, soft and slow.  
  
“Siha…” the word tumbles from my lips and my voice cracks with emotion.  
  
She curls against me, her head on my chest and our fingers twine together.  
Silently we mourn for the life we will never have together; we grieve for our love that will be lost all too soon and we cry for each other’s loss.  
  
I am bound to her, irrevocably and I belong to her. No words can say that.  
  
And as it turns out, they don’t have to.


End file.
